My Biggest Frustration

In my entire life, I always dream of gaining massive weight since I have never tried to have that "healty" look. I am not really that thin, but I also want to try and want to feel to be "chubby" even just for a moment. I want to see if I look good if I'm chubby or I have to be thankful that I'm framed like this. Some people are envious because no matter how much I eat, I don't feel any changes in my weight. And that makes me more frustrated. No matter how hard I try, it's really not working. I took vitamins, food supplements and all possible ways in terms of medication to help me achieve my goal, to look healthy. The irony here is, there are chubby people who are also trying hard, exerting all their effort, just to loss weight. A lot go to gyms, or have their meal measured, or even buy weight loss bars and do their weight-loss routine at home. I sometimes wish, that I hope one day, I'll live a life like them. Kinda weird right? But for me, I just want to try it even just for a day. Some say, "be careful on what you wish for". But I say, "be in my shoes and you will know what I mean".